I was reflecting on some things this morning on my drive home after dropping a child off at school.
My nephew just started going to University this fall. I have absolutely LOVED having him around. He’s come around a few times for family dinners since his arrival a couple of weeks ago. Last night, he came in after his last class ended and we all ate a late dinner (9:00pm) together. What stood out to me was that when he walked in, he was quiet, a little stressed, definitely tired.
As I cooked and the family gathered around, I asked my nephew and kid to help with dinner… you know, clean up my flour mess, set the table, taste the simmering Butter Chicken, add the finishing spices…
As he worked, I probed for information about my nephew’s new life as a freshman, slowly drawing out conversation. As the family ate, I watched the kid transform in front of my eyes. He relaxed, he became talkative, and soon the kitchen was filled with conversation and laughter; we even got the privilege of helping him figure out a couple adulting questions. By the time he went home, he was well fed, smiling, carrying extra food with him to eat later in the week. It was absolutely wonderful to be able to be here for him as he adjusts to being a college student here.
This isn’t the only story of life in my kitchen and around my table.
The thing I was reflecting on was how much I used to HATE cooking. Seriously. When I was a kid, I would rather do ANYTHING else. I found a way to burn WATER. My mom had such a hard time trying to teach me. When I got married and had my kids, I conceded to having to cook for their survival…a necessity to keeping them alive. And that is how I treated it.
Then, after my divorce, someone beautiful opened my eyes to the possibilities of cooking and eating together. My Friend and I used to spend hours in the kitchen, trying new recipes; eventually going off script, using recipes as a “jumping off point”. This Friend showed me that cooking could be relational. As we cooked, we talked about everything under the sun; world problems got solved when we cooked together! The kitchen went from a lonely and boring place to place full of life, laughter, creativity, and honest communication. I discovered that love could be translated into cooking a good meal.
Unfortunately, my Friend and I are no longer in contact but what I learned from them has transformed my life and my ministry in ways that I would have never imagined even ten years ago. What I used to hate doing, I now allow the Holy Spirit to empower. My husband finds it fascinating that I pray while I cook (sometimes looking like a lunatic, talking to the Lord out loud about the ingredients that He says to use in any given dish).
No dish ever turns out the same because when I cook with God, He knows what the people who will be at my table need in the moment. Without fail, every single time, something in my cooking ends up ministering to people in ways that gets them to relax, feel safe, and pulls out of them conversation and stress that they had been holding onto…giving my husband and/or me the opportunity to then minister to people’s souls as well as their bodies.
I start cooking and my teenagers show up around the table, spilling the tea about their lives. Or, just wanting to do homework at the kitchen table, hanging out in Mom’s presence. Or, discussing the challenges of growing up, wrestling out the decisions they need to make with Mom’s guidance.
I start cooking and teenagers that don’t even live in my household feel safe enough to open up about the challenges they are facing; we get to discuss wisdom. My oldest daughter tells me that her friends love hanging out with me and get so confused when I am able to get them to talk about the deep things that they would never trust other adults with.
I start cooking and weary women feel like they can rest because someone is taking the time to serve them in love.
I start cooking and my husband feels like he can be vulnerable about life challenges, and becomes communicative about both his strengths and weaknesses. I can then help challenge or encourage him.
I had a good friend who also has a senior in high school tell me recently that when the kids move out, all I would have to do is send a text to her kids and mine and tell them “I’m cooking tonight”, and they will come…so she’s not worried about not seeing the kids after they grow up.
My son constantly tells me, “Mom, you need to open a restaurant or a food truck. Do you know how many people would rush to you?”
My husband can’t believe that there was ever a time that I did not cook because I hated it so much.
I’m in a season where I’m having to baby my body a little bit as I learn to work with it, and teach it to heal again. Sometimes, I get frustrated because I can’t be out “saving the world” like I so badly want to. God told me that He is working something greater than I could imagine through this season; yet, I’ve had moments of anger towards God because I’ve felt useless to Him (exacerbated by well-meaning people that tried to “minister” to me and “pray” for me).
But, seeing my nephew, my children, and my husband around the table last night…enjoying a family meal after a long day, in the middle of a busy week, connecting during new and possibly confusing times…shifted my perspective quite a bit.
I may not be out doing large scale ministry…yet. I may not have my internationally scaled business…yet. However, I am still turning what I do have over to the Lord, allowing Him to bring the people to me that He wants to touch through what could be the most mundane acts of life.
I finally understand what He means when He says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”
The Lord took something I LOATHED and turned into one of my greatest skills through a Friend who taught me how to LOVE by creating a safe place in my home for anyone who may be weary, translating an act of survival into an intentional act of service.
God is also using my season of weakness to help people in ways that “normal ministry” can’t touch.
He’s teaching me that illness is not a write off, that there are times that illness is His grace in action.
My gift to you today is this question of reflection…what weakness in your life is God using to perfect His power?
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